Your Score: Akkadian
You are Akkadian, a blend of the incomprehensible symbols of the Sumerians with the unwritable sounds of the early Semitic peoples. However, the writing just doesn't suit the words and doesn't represent everything needed, so you end up a schizoid mess. Invented in Babylon, you're probably to blame for that tower story. However, crazy as you are, you're much loved and appreciated, and remain actively in use by records keepers long after schools have switched to other languages.
|Link: The Which Ancient Language Are You Test written by imipak on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test|
I encountered one in my travels this afternoon, and read it with Jim (notarysojac) who is still home sick.
It was SO bad that it was almost fun to read - I am easily amused by Jim, (who currently sounds like Tom Waites warming up to sing La Grange) clutching his head like a stuuned monkey and muttering *Good Grief* at least once a paragraph (it started before we got anywhere near the NC-17 section, too.)
It's easily in my current top two for headclutching bewilderment. (Jim is currently insisting it deserves the top *honors.*)
There was to be no pillaging of language here.
I don't mind if you decide to go for crude language - just make a choice. (actually, I do mind, but only because it's inappropriate for the fandom) But don't waver between totally clinical and language that would be inappropriate in a back alley when used by two perverts with only one cigar between them.
Obviously, I have no idea of the author's age or gender - and this story did nothing to convince me they have any idea about sex. But I do know that If you think oral sex is going to taste like strawberries, chocolate or cinnamon, I'm afraid you are in for a disappointment somewhere down the line.
But let me get to the point that drove me to recount this. Sir or madame: your heroine does *not* have "golden hair on her vagina," because the vagina is an INTERNAL organ. If you meant vulva, perhaps you should say that. And if, by some stretch of the imagination, you actually meant vagina -- I have no idea how her partner could possibly see that from where she was. But, just..... eeeeewwww.
(Not the first time my family has done this to me. I assume the rest of you can hear the International Ladies Garment Worker's Union theme without singing I Love Going Without Underwear.)
(Back to the all anime police weekend - Jim and I have Patlabor and You're Under Arrest on the schedule)
I have mentioned, I believe, that I get cranky when my email, in an attempt to beat the spam filters, promises to 'add three inches to your pens.' My vintage Schaffer Targa's are perfectly balanced as they are, thanks. (And you wouldn't have any trouble getting through to my desk with the word "penis" since it would screw up my mail much worse if I filtered for that!)
Today, I find that there is hope for people who are concerned that they "ejacculatte" too quickly. I usually prefer a Vanilla latte, or cold chai, but I might have to look into this....
I was on the phone with Chris today, and I mentioned I wanted to make some icons of Colin Mockery as the nabisco Snack Fairy - which brought up one of those magical moments we shared together - graphitti so amusing (to me, anyway) that I actually pulled her into the stall in the ladies room to see it. It looked, roughly, like this, scratched into the back of the door:
It's a good thing I encountered it where I did. So many childhood references in one spot.
This story is all the more amusing if you realize that we were at a club of the type we would never have gone to by choice (for me, that would be any club really, unless live music is the point of the trip) but Chris's mom was trying to win a trip to England and this "party" was one of the stops along the way. The words Beach Party and New Hampshire Coast are enough to get me rolling on the floor laughing now.
Do not ask about the karakoe, the confused cop who stopped us on the way home and discovered that jim had no year of birth on his driver's license (in his defense, the car did smell like a mobile brewery, but only one of us drinks and he was asleep in the jump seat - leading to the term "designated drinker" and to calling out "snausages" when a police car follows us) or the 20 person pancake house breakfast (mmmm hash bash smash!!)
1. a body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks? A stream
2. the thing you push around the grocery store? A cart
3. a metal container to carry a meal in? A lunchbox
4. the thing that you cook bacon and eggs in? A skillet
5. the piece of furniture that seats three people? A couch
6. the device on the outside of the house that carries rain off? gutters
7. the covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening? The porch
8. carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages? soda
9. a flat, round breakfast food served with syrup? Eggs! Oh, ok, Pancakes
10. a long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself? A sub
11. the piece of clothing worn by men at the beach? bathing suit
12. shoes worn for sports? sneakers
13. putting a room in order? straightening up
14. a flying insect that glows in the dark? Firefly
15. the little insect that curls up into a ball? Yuck! Jim!!!!!
16. the children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down? see-saw
17. how do you eat your pizza? fold and bite from the point
18. the act of private citizens putting up signs and selling their used stuff? yard sale
19. the evening meal? Dinner
20. the thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are? The basement